April 23rd appointment - 21 Wks

Today I had my weekly ultrasound and appointment and thankfully there has been no change since last week! This is always good news and a sigh of welcomed relief. At least for another week. I have had very little pain over the last few days and that really helps me stay focused on the positive, as well. I have been promoted back to being able to sit up at the table for meals and she said I could also get out and go to church this week! I am looking forward to that! I go back again in a week, as usual. My fetal echocardiogram was supposed to be tomorrow, but for the sake of convenience (and gas prices since we are driving over an hour one-way for these appointments!) we have rescheduled it to be after my ultrasound appointment next week. Thank you so much for your continued support and prayers!

On another note, it is always so hard to leave the kids when I have appointments to go to. I guess since Mommy has left and not come back before, they fear that that might happen again (and unfortunately that is still a possibility since I could be readmitted at any time if things started to look bad). So there is definitely some separation anxiety (for both me and the kids!) when it's time for Mommy to go. Today, Evan could easily sense that I was leaving (before I even got near my shoes) and so he reached for my hand to hold and I gave him my finger. His clasp was firm as if he were trying to say "Wherever you go Mommy, I'm going with you." The emotion I felt from his tiny touch was almost overwhelming and I decided to snap a picture to be able to keep a memory of this moment.

As I gave Grant a kiss and hug goodbye and told him that Mommy had to go to the doctor he said, "Okay. Are you coming back home? When you're done at the doctor?"

Then, as I was walking out the door Clayton yells "Mommy!" (as if saying "Wait!"). So I turned to him, sort of expecting a similar response as his brothers gave me over my leaving, and he says "Do I have school today???" Can you tell he is the most independent of the boys, lol?!

So Evan finally looks at me in defeat and gives me my finger back to allow me to leave. He immediately frowns and starts to well up with tears in a purely brokenhearted fashion and reaches for the babysitter for comfort. So with some tears on both our parts I was able to get out the door and on to take care of the child who needs it most at the moment. That certainly has to be one of the biggest challenges of motherhood!